When I got tied up with internet porn some years ago the hugest issue was that I was going to keep this a secret- I HAD to keep it a secret!. After all I didn't have to be Billy Graham to know what I was doing was wrong. One of the side effects of having to keep this a secret is that I was therefore unable to talk to anyone about it. As far as I knew I was the only pervert around...certainly the only one in my church!
As I became more engaged in this issue I discovered that far from being the only pervert around, the fact was that fully half the men on the internet were accessing porn also...but the other fact was that most of them are doing so in secret and they think they are the only ones with the problem. We keep this a secret for good reason! Our wives will be devastated, jobs and reputations at risk...yeah, keep it quiet! Psychologists tell us the one of the main drivers of this compulsive use of internet porn is fired by three factors. One is that it is accessible to anyone with the net, secondly it can be accessed for free-millions of pages of free porn trying to suck you into the pay sites, and finally it can be done in secret. Porn is typically used in the office after hours, or at home after your wife has gone to bed, or when no one is home. Secrecy at all costs!
A few years ago I addressed a mens young adult group of at a very conservative and active church. There were about twenty guys between 20 and 30 eyars old. I told them my story with internet porn and told them about the power of the secrecy. Finally I asked them all to close their eyes so that they couldn't see each other. I asked how many had internet access and they all raised their hands. I then asked them with their eyes still closed to raise their other hand if they used internet porn.....100% of them, all of them raised their hands!
I told them that all of them had their hands still up and if they had the courage would they be willing to leave their hands raised while they opened their eyes? I gave them a chance to lower their hands and two actually did so but the other eighteen left them up as they looked around. They were stunned! Not only were they not the only pervert around but they ALL had the problem.
From that point things got really interesting, the guys began to find accountability partners to keep themselves clean, most of them put filters on their computers with the accountability reporting so that they knew that they would be taken to task if they were trying to go to the porn sites.
But the power of the secrecy was gone and now they could deal with the issue, and they did. Most of the guys have their porn use under control and as they marry and get older then this , at least, will not be a factor in destroying their marriages.
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