Where was her husband while she was in the hospital giving birth?

"I was in the hospital in labor. where was my husband? He said that he was coming"..these were the desperate thoughts of a mother in labor wondering where her husband was. Had he been in a car wreck or some other tragedy. "where was he?"

After the birth (without the husband) and Mother and child returned home she was sitting with a friend who told her that she had a feeling....the two of them went over to the family computer and the friend hit the keys Ctrl H which brought up the history of where the computer had been surfing to. To the horror of the new mom, she found out that during the entire time that she had been in labor that he had been back at the house, not taking her calls, gorging on internet pornography.

To suggest that she was heart broken wouldn't begin to cover the range of emotions. Rage, betrayal, hurt, abandonment....fill in the blank. Her first response was to demand that he get out of the house and that she wanted a divorce. As they had been married for several years and already had children she cooled off somewhat and she told him that they were going to get counseling and that he was going to put a filter on his computer with a accountability feature that would allow her to see where he was surfing in a place that could not be erased. If he was unwilling then he could get out!

This is where I came in and heard the story. She called me at Wisechoice.net, my filtering company and we talked for a long time. Ultimately they did go to counseling and they did install the filter on the computer to prevent access to the porn sites as well as the feature that shed light on what he was doing.

Once again, the power of internet porn was so great that this otherwise devoted husband exchanged being at the birth of their new child for a pile of garbage. He nearly lost his marriage, his kids and of course his reputation was going to be lost as well.

So far so good, it appears that they are holding this marriage together but it has been hard word work requiring forgiveness. The loss of trust between he and his wife may never be recovered.

If porn is being used in your house there are ways to deal with it...let me know and I will be happy to discuss it.

about the author Ned Dominick: Since 1998 after nearly falling into this same trap I began to hunt for solutions for porn use by adults. I came up with a combination of a filtering technology and accountability reporting called Wisechoice.net. Rather than a solution designed for guarding children, Wisechoice is designed to protect husbands and marriages from porn. The addictive properties are such that putting a wall around ones self is often the only way short of getting rid of the computer entirely and it is effective. I would suggest checking our solution out or one of the other filters available.

WWW.WISECHOICE.NET

I NEED to have my porn!

About a year ago a man from my church came to me and explained that he had just been put out of his house by his wife because of his internet pornography use. He has a beautiful family, wife in her late thirties and two girls in their early teens. He had been part of our church for some years and was active.

He explained to me that he was a computer expert and could get through any filtering system but his wife would not let him back home unless there was something to keep him out of porn. He had already lied to her over and over but couldn't seem to stay clear of it. He finally came to me and put the CPU into my hand and said this was the only way he could stay clear. In essence he gave me his computer since the CPU is the heart of a computer. No CPU-no computer. I was impressed by his determination.

He moved back home and things seemed to be moving along OK when he called me and asked me to give him his CPU back. I asked him how he was going to handle things and his reply was, "I need to have porn access". He really said it, "I NEED TO HAVE PORN ACCESS!"

"What about your family?" I asked.

"I am moving to Florida and will stay with a friend...I guess she will just have to divorce me".

So he did, he left his wife, his children, his career and moved to a different state so that he could continue to have his internet porn. I often ask; "how much will you pay for your internet porn?" This man was willing to trade everything...do you think that internet porn is powerful?

More stories to come- Thanks- Ned

WWW.WISECHOICE.NET

Porn proof!

Many of my readers know me but most don't know that I was very nearly taken down by internet pornography. I could have been described as "downright upright" at least in my own eyes! Married to a wonderful, beautiful woman, two fine sons, a great business and reputation and a straight up Christian. Most people including me would have said that I was" porn proof"-not.

A number of years ago as I was entering the world of the internet I had heard that internet porn was really shocking. My personality type has always been one to engage an issue and work for change. I had been active back when I was a student in the Vietnam days and active again as a pro lifer as a Christian and had been effective. Well why not internet porn..let's just stamp it out! So I went to a porn site to see what the deal was...I was stunned, flabbergasted at what I saw and little did I know but a the trigger to a character flaw that I knew nothing about had been triggered.

I turned off the computer ,went home and the next day went back for more "research" then more research  and within three days I was spending hours consuming and consumed by internet pornography. It was free, it was anonymous and it owned me as fast as crack cocaine. I was in serious trouble and way out of my depth.

This went on for several weeks, hours spent after the office closed, guilt when I was talking to God and fear if anyone found out. I made deals with God on Sunday morning and was back into it by Sunday afternoon. I knew I was going to take a fall, certainly be found out, lose my reputation, any ministry credibility that I might have and worst I knew I would lose my wife. What to do?

I was crying out God about it and had the distinct communication "that if my eye offended me then I should pluck it out...if my hand offended me I should cut it off"  Drastic! I took this to mean that I was to get off the internet and stay off.  Almost as soon as I agreed with God and was preparing to remove my connection, my web master for my business walked in and said, "hey Ned, have you heard about internet filtering?" I had not told him about my problem or anyone for that matter...so I coolly asked him what he was talking about. He described a program that could keep me out of porn sites, something that would block me even if I tried to get to them. At that time these were provider based and we had no connection to the service so my friend hacked me in so that I could try it...it was wonderful, a relief of enormous proportion. After about a week they discovered me and kicked me off their service and wouldn't let me back. What to do? The porn was back but I knew there was a solution.....so since I am an activist, I decided that if I could not get their protection then I would provide it for myself and for others. So Wisechoice Internet Filtering was born. www.wisechoice.net. A filter designed to protect adults not pretending that the issue was only about kids. A filter that did not give an "adult override password" because adults were the ones with the problem!

Little did I know that I had turned a corner in my life in which I would become an expert in internet pornography, in the traps, in the curse, in the power and that I would be spending the last twelve years keeping myself and thousands of others out of internet porn, hopefully saving their marriages, maybe even their lives.

In this blog I am going to tell stories of folks that I have met and some of the things that I have learned and experienced. I am not cured of this problem but I have learned to control it and would love to share how I have done it...You are not alone even though it may seem that way....feel free to contact me.

WWW.WISECHOICE.NET